Let Your Little Light Shine

Matthew 5:16 says, "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven."

This has been one amazing week. It all started with nurses' chapel on Monday, where seven of us nursing students got to speak on our experiences at clinical thus far and what we have been dealing with. Since we have already been submerged into the community, we have already dealt with a lot more than the other APU students who have not begun their service sites yet. After this week, they get to go out and work in the community as well, but they wanted to hear about what to expect first. All seven of us spoke on our own topic and utilized our own personal stories to get our message across. I spoke on my struggles in clinical with how women are treated here and how many people are dying of AIDS when it doesn't have to be a death sentence with how many medications they have to treat it and maintain it. I encouraged them with John 16:33, which says, "These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." In this verse, God lets us know that we will without a doubt face tribulation in this world, but He promises us His peace that surpasses all understanding because He has overcome the world. In the mean time though, don't hide your lights under a bushel (like the well known Sunday school song "Don't hide it under a bushel - No! I'm gonna let it shine"). I encouraged them to engage in the moments given to them and to expound upon them. I encouraged them to leave their personal struggles at home and only bring smiles to the people of South Africa. Smiling may seem like such a small thing, but in that smile, you're showing them the love of Jesus within you. After everyone shared, I wrapped it all up by tying all of our topics in with two quotes. The first is by Gandhi, which I thought was appropriate, since he made his stand against racism here in South Africa. "Be the change you wish to see in the world." You may not be able to change the world on your own, but you can control who you are and what kind of legacy you leave here on this earth. No matter what, one must always remember that Christ is still on the throne. The second quote I left them with is a well known prayer that we have all been dealing with, the serenity prayer. "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." We may not be able to change everything, but I strongly believe that God can use us in the small things, which could turn into something big. We may not be able to stop the spread of HIV here in South Africa, but we can touch individuals' lives with the love of Jesus along the way.

Tuesday was a struggle. Encouraging others and actually applying your own encouragement to yourself are two separate things. I didn't feel like smiling on Tuesday. I was at clinical at Ethembeni, which is a hospice center for patients who have life long illnesses, such as AIDS or cancer. The center is a lot like City of Hope in Duarte, CA. Anyways, I saw two patients with full blown AIDS, Vincent and Jacob. Vincent was in excruciating pain due to his prostate being enlarged, which caused his bladder to not be able to fully empty into his catheter bag. When I first saw him in pain, my fleshly response to myself was, "Well, he's dying. We can't do much about it anyways." You see, AIDS attacks your immune system and all the fat and muscle in your body. Both Vincent and Jacob were so wasted away that they looked like death itself. When I saw them, I wanted to go sit in the corner and cry, but how could that make any sort of difference or show them Jesus' love for them? We ended up calling the ambulance for Vincent because Ethembeni only administers medication, not any other medical care. As we waited for the ambulance, I asked both Jacob and Vincent if I could pray for them in Zulu. They were both very receptive and thankful for my prayer. I prayed that God would give them strength and courage and that he would make His love for them known to them. When the ambulance came, a volunteer, Thuthu, and I helped him walk out to the ambulance. As we were easing him out of bed, I realized that I could easily pick him up myself and carry him like a baby out to the ambulance instead of Thuthu and I walking on either side of him, but that would remove any dignity he had left. I pray that God continues to use Vincent to minister to others, but I also pray that God takes him home to run freely with Him if he believes in Jesus. If not, I pray that God uses the Christian center, Ethembeni, and the volunteers there to show him Jesus' love before he passes away.

My buddy, LG, and I are leading a D-Group of a bunch of girls here on campus. A couple of them have been struggling with how a loving God can allow such suffering in the world. What did I do to be born in a prosperous country like America? If I was born to a mother with HIV here in South Africa, would I even be given a chance at life? A couple of nursing girls and I talked with Reg (our fearless leader here at African Enterprise who is full of wisdom and Jesus' love) about this the other day. The way he put it was so clear. Basically, what he said was that we have taken the world's viewpoint on life. We have grown to think that since God is loving, life should be peaches and cream; BUT God is also a just God. Jesus says, "Take up your cross daily and follow Me," not "If you follow Me, you will always be happy." Instead of asking "Why does a loving God allow suffering?" we should be asking "Why does a just God allow joy and pleasure in this fallen world? Who am I that God should love me and care for me and want a relationship with me?" We have the wrong mindset, people! Thank You Jesus for even giving me, a little ant on this earth, a chance to share Your love with the lost people on this earth.

Yesterday was an amazing day. We all had the chance to go on a canopy tour. I had no idea what this meant till about a week ago, but we got to go ziplining through the trees of South Africa like Tarzan and Jane, touring the canopy of trees. IT WAS AMAZING!!! Just when I think "it couldn't get any better than this," I'm always proven wrong by a new day. I got to see God's creation from the viewpoint of a bird or a monkey. We would literally fly from one platform to the next, simply admiring God's creation and screaming like little girls. I am in love with this country and what God has been teaching me here. God is good and His mercy endures forever.

Be My Everything

 Where to begin... This past week has been an amazing week of so many different events happening. Last night was probably my best night here thus far, as we all went to a Sharks Rugby game here in Durban, South Africa. We painted our faces and everything to support a team we had never seen play to support a game we had never seen played in a foreign country. When in South Africa, do as the South Africans do? By the end of the night, however, we had all fallen in love with the game of Rugby and the people who play it. I was planning on meeting my husband there, but I guess God had other plans. Haha. We still enjoyed the game, however, regardless of failing to find a husband and by the end of the game, I think we all began to understand the concept of the game. The Sharks won, 24 to 9 and we all had an amazing time.

A few of the lil children that stole my heart at clinical at the family center :)

 Last Saturday, we went on a hike to go see the Bushman Paintings up in some caves in Durban. We weren’t nearly as impressed by the historical paintings as we were by God’s creation, the drive on the way there and back, and the hike to the paintings itself. On the drive there, my camera’s battery light began to start blinking because it was low, simply because I couldn’t help myself and I kept taking pictures. Whenever we go anywhere, I cannot help but look out the window in amazement at God’s creation and the beauty of it here in South Africa. We never really get to sleep in here because our schedule begins so early in the morning and we always seem to go to bed rather late, so we are always so very tired, but sleeping in the car never seems to happen because it is so beautiful outside.

One of the beautiful pictures I took out the window of the bus :)

 Before clinical one of the days this week, a plethora of monkeys visited Kara and I right outside our bedroom window. As I was curling my hair, one of them walked up to our window and stared right into my soul. It must have been one of the cutest things I have ever seen. I was talking to him through the glass and he was just staring at me, cleaning his face. Haha. The little guys are so very deceiving. They are adorable through the glass window, but if I were to be right next to him outside, I’m pretty sure I would of been screaming. Haha.

The adorable monkey who came to visit Kara and I :)

The girls in my chalet and I and the addition to our lil family, John Wilson at our Valentine's Dinner.  Our chalet is named after a John Wilson, and this young gentleman from our school just so happens to have the same name. Haha.

 Last Sunday, we had a Valentine’s Day dinner where we all got dolled up, ate dinner in a different place, and had a little dance party. We all had so much fun! Great Valentine's Day! <3

Alison and I and our teaching project posters on alcohol abuse :)

  On Tuesday, we had a teaching project in place of going out to the clinics. We each taught on a different topic including drug abuse, tobacco abuse, alcohol abuse, menstruation, exercise, and dental hygiene. We went to a local high school and each spoke on our own topic. My good friend Alison and I spoke on alcohol abuse, since her and I both have had family members who have been affected by alcohol rather heavily and we feel so passionate about it. As we began talking about it, I wasn’t planning on making it personal, but I got choked up just talking about it to them. I began to picture the effect alcohol may have already had or may possibly have on their lives and it just crushed me. I honestly do not see any good that ever comes out of alcohol. All I have seen is the damaging effects it has had on people’s social lives with their families and personal effects it has had on the bodies of those who do not have the self-control to put the alcohol down.

Reading books to a few kids at the family center at clinical :)

The Indian Ocean.... Durban, South Africa :)

LG and I at Ushaka Sea World here in Durban, South Africa at the Dolphin Show....  It was so weird being at a Sea World here!

 On Thursday, I had the best clinical experience thus far. I had the chance to go Ethembeni in Mpophomeni, South Africa. The center is a Christian ministry that has a hospice center, where they care for those who are dying, and a family center, where they care for children during the day. At the hospice center, my good friends, Kara and Alison, and I, had the chance to pray for a 29 year old woman who really touched our little hearts. She was sick with cancer and her doctor had sent her home to die in peace about a month ago, but she had only gotten better from that point. She said she was getting better because she was praying that she would so that she may be with her 18-month-old son. I asked her if I could pray for her and when she said yes, I asked her if she would like me to pray in Zulu or English, since she spoke both languages. She did not care either way, but I really wanted to use my Zulu prayer, so I prayed in Zulu first and then more elaborately in English. It was the coolest experience ever. In my little mind, God speaks English, but I was praying in Zulu because my God is a God who understands ALL languages. Such a cool experience! After I prayed that God would give her the strength and courage to press on and that God would put His arms around her and comfort her, I asked her if she could understand my Zulu prayer and she told me exactly what I prayed for. It was amazing! God is good! 
Then we split up into teams and went out into the community. The way the ministry works is that the people go to the homes of people who are sick and they bring them food and provide spiritual care. Part of the deal, however, is that they have to sign a contract that says that they will learn some kind of trade from them. A couple of the options they are given are the following: sewing, gardening, or basket making. My team delivered food to four different houses and a message in two places. The first time, the volunteer I was with spoke fluent Zulu and did not really translate any of it for me until she was completely done, so it was hard for me to follow what was going on. The second message, however, the volunteer told one of the little children to come sit with me. The little girl had to be about three years old or maybe even younger. She sat on my lap the entire time and absolutely stole my heart. She played with my hair and touched my face in wonder the entire time. Then at the end of the message, she asked me if I would like to pray for the people there. She said that the man was a Christian who had a bad cough, most likely Tuberculosis, one of the woman was a Christian who was trying to find a job, and the final woman was not a Christian and she had been hearing voices telling her to drink the blood. Totally a spiritual warfare scenario. As I prayed, I prayed for Satan to be bound from the woman’s life and that the only voice she would hear would be Jesus’ voice. I prayed that she would feel His love for her and not allow the evil spirits to have any sort of influence over her. I prayed that the Lord would reveal Himself to her and that she would find Him. Please keep her in your prayers if you think of it. After the home visits, Kara, Alison, and I met up at the family center, where we simply played with all the kids there. The children were all under four years old and they were absolutely adorable. They stole our hearts and I want more than anything to maybe adopt a baby from Africa or Haiti one day when I'm married with a family of my own.

A couple of my girlfriends and I at Sea World :)

My buddy Amanda and I before the Sharks game :)

LG, Alison, and I at the Rugby game :)

My future hubby, Patrick Lambie, the Sharks' kicker :)

The Rugby stadium!!! I think Rugby may be my new favorite sport! :)  It may have something to do with being in South Africa... or maybe the men who play it. Haha.

I’m not sure what God has in store for me, but recently, my prayer has been that God would align the desires of my heart with His will for my life. I know that God gives us the desires of our hearts, but if our desires are not what He would have for us, then I do not want my desires. I want my desires to be in alignment with His desires for me and His plan for my life. His plan for my life is big and it is great and it is what is best because Christ knows what is best. Recently one of my favorite worship songs is "Be My Everything." I truly desire that Christ becomes my everything and remains my everything throughout all the days of my life. 

God in my living, there in my breathing
God in my waking, God in my sleeping
God in my resting, there in my working
God in my thinking, God in my speaking

Be my everything, be my everything
Be my everything, be my everything

God in my hoping, there in my dreaming
God in my watching, God in my waiting
God in my laughing, there in my weeping
God in my hurting, God in my healing

Be my everything, be my everything
Be my everything, be my everything

Christ in me, Christ in me
Christ in me, the hope of glory
You are everything

For those of you who do not already know, my Grandpa is good friends with someone from South Africa, Malcolm Graham. They have been golfing together for the last eight years or so in San Dimas and before I came here, my Grandpa brought up that I was coming here with APU and Malcolm revealed that he helped start this program for APU. Malcolm then emailed all the staff here and told them to look out for me. As a result, I have received so many hugs from the staff here and so much love. I seriously feel so welcome here. Today, one of Malcolm's friends, Sandra Pillay, took my friend LG and I to her church and the pastor, Pastor Chris, had us over for lunch after. So very welcoming. We had a great day at her church and all the sweet fellowship was amazing. After we had lunch, we went to help out with this ministry called the WaySide ministry. Basically, they rotate through who gets to cook for all the people and they feed the children of a poorer area and sing worship songs with them. It was such an amazing experience! God is so good and it is so cool seeing Him work in a different country.

Pictures of My Life in Africa

Oh you know, just another zebra on one of our walks :)

Our beautiful view on our way to clinical

This lil grey guy on the left is what the lil monkeys look like that cause us so much fear . Deceiving, right?

Some of the nursing girls before clinical at the prayer chapel :)

South Africa... or Hawaii?

Al Pal, Callee, and I enjoying the view of the waterfall cliffs after clinical :)

Al Pal and I on top of the world, in the midst of God's creation

My new "South African" dress.... from Rip Curl. Haha

To Brave the Dark

It has nearly been three weeks thus far and I am still in love with this country, but I find myself struggling with so many different things. In the clinical setting, we would like to pray for our patients, but we find ourselves frustrated over the language barrier. We are all enrolled in an Intro to Zulu course, but we are by no means fluent. When patients come in completely hopeless and dying of AIDS, I want to share the love of Jesus with them and give them a glimmer of hope. A friend, LG, and I voiced these frustrations to a couple of our mentors and our Zulu professor overheard. She joyfully offered to translate anything for us, whether it be a prayer or whatever we felt would be most helpful. LG and I wrote out a prayer and had her translate it and we cannot wait to have the opportunity to pray for a patient in Zulu. I was practicing it the other day and it blew my mind that God understands every single language. I was praying to the same God I pray to in English, and I began thinking, "What am I doing? He understands English. Wait a second, He understands Zulu as well.... and every other language. Lord, You are amazing!" Seriously though, how amazing is our God? I find myself in awe of His majesty on a daily basis.

As a nursing major, I have to take this Ethics of Nursing course while I am here in Africa and I am absolutely loving it. We constantly get to debate different topics in the class, mulling over what we think is right and what we think is wrong. Our clinical experience is also a great place for us to get out into the community and see what it is really like in South Africa. Today's discussion in our ethics course was all about a scenario of a single mother with three children and no job. The only job opening available at the time is at an abortion clinic. Should she take the job? There were so many different opinions on this topic. Some people said that if they were her, they would take the job in order to put food on the table, but they would keep looking for another job as they were working so that they would not have to be there for too long. Others said that although you may be against it, it's part of working up the ladder in nursing. I hands down said that if I were her, I could not do it because it would kill me inside. To take the lives of innocent babies would constantly eat me up.  I would rather put my faith in God and trust that He will provide food for my family and a job for me in the future.

We also spoke more about how men here tend to be pigs to women and women begin to take on the mindset that they have no worth or rights. Married men go away on business or what have you and they take up a mistress, contract HIV, take it back to their wives, and then tell her she must have been messing around. Rape is another way HIV is spread like wild fire. This breaks my heart. This fallen world takes an image that was meant to represent the sweet relationship between God and the church and so many people kill it. Women are called to submit to their husbands as Christians are called to submit to God and husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loves the church. How can women submit to their husbands when their husbands are abusing their submission and not loving them as Christ loves the church? Sex was meant to be some beautiful, intimate thing between husband and wife. It was suppose to represent the sweet, intimate connection between Christ and the church, but instead, it has been marred. These fallen men skew it for their pleasure and do not care who they are hurting and possibly killing along the way. The whole thing seriously breaks my heart. I desire more than anything to tell these girls and these women that they have value and that God loves them. I love them with Christ's love. I see them through Christ's eyes and my heart breaks. These women I have seen in the clinics have no self-esteem. They have been raised with the mindset that they will contract HIV eventually and they have no rights as women. They think this is how life was meant to be - them dying of AIDS and terrified to tell anyone about it or seek medical attention because of the negative stigma attached to being HIV positive. I pray that the Lord reveals Himself to them in a deep and intimate way. I pray that He shows them His love for them. I pray that He uses me in some small way, whether it be through my smile that beams of Christ's love for them or my broken heart to minister to their ashes. I pray that the Lord reveals to them that they were made in His image and that there is more to life than HIV and being used by men. They have rights that they aren't even aware of. God has a plan for each one of them and it is perfect and beautiful, but they must seek the Lord first and then they will find Him.

My prayer for the people of this country and even for my friends and family is a song by Addison Road called "This Little Light of Mine".... it goes like this:

There's a little flame inside a soul/ Some shine bright/ Some shine small/ The rains will come/ And the waters rise/ But don't you ever lose your light/ In this life you will know/ Love and pain/ Joy and sorrow/ So when it hurts/ When times get hard/ Don't forget who's child you are/ This little light of mine/ I'm gonna let it shine/ Gonna let it shine/ May you live each day/ With no regret/ Make the most of every chance you get/ And your eyes get wide/ When you look at the stars/ With the same sense of wonder as a child's heart/ With the ones you love/ Treasure the time/ And for those who are gone/ Keep the memories alive/ Hold on to your dreams/ Don't ever let go/ There's a fire inside you/ Burning with hope/ This little light of mine/ I'm gonna let it shine/ This little light of mine/ I'm gonna let it shine/ Gonna let it shine/ There will be days when you wanna give up/ When clouds settle in/ But after the rain comes the sun/ Don't you ever forget/ Don't forget/ Don't, don't forget/ One day there will be no more pain/ And we will finally see Jesus' face/ So until then I'm gonna try/ TO BRAVE THE DARK/ And let my little light shine/ This little light of mine/ I'm gonna let it shine/ This little light of mine/ I'm gonna let it shine/ Gonna let it shine/ There's a little light inside us all

You Know You're In South Africa When...

1) You're writing this in a 7 hour class that's broken up by tea time and lunch
2) You must keep your windows closed or monkeys will climb up in your windows and snatch your things up
3) It's no longer enough to hike to a waterfall, you must find a way to hike up it
4) The staff of the school adopts you as their own child and has you call them Baba (Father) and mother
5) You get to go running through a game reserve with a plethora of zebra
6) You wake up from a pleasant nap to a monkey on your night stand
7) You are given pepper spray to defend yourself against the monkeys who look deceivingly cute, but constantly attack people in reality
8) The guys are told in orientation to "be the bigger monkey"
9) The natives aren't even phased by the wild animals
10) You are blessed to go on some sort of excursion every Saturday
11) You get to have tea time at 10:30am and 4:00pm every day
12) When you have to stay up till 1am to watch the Superbowl
13) You are given the opportunity to bungee jump off the highest bridge in the world and if you're too chicken to jump, they'll throw you off if you ask them to
14) You are picked out wherever you go as an American, not because of your skin color, but because of your "accent" (Even though you think they're the ones with the accents)
15) Fifty-five students of various ages and majors become a close-knit family
16) You will see more HIV positive patients in one day at a clinic than you have ever seen in your entire life
17) You will be hit on by an Egyptian and a Spaniard while at an Indian Ocean beach and you will turn them down
18) Your heart will be broken into so many pieces that you will not know where to begin in putting it back together
19) You come to the realization that God understands every single language, including Zulu and all the various clicks in the language
20) You learn how to speak Zulu and find yourself so excited when you get one word with a click in it correct and the Zulu people understand you, but are terrified when they answer and you have no idea what they said
21) One of your first big purchases isn't a South African painting, but a Christian mug for tea time that says, "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."